One year since I started this ‘journal’ and while there are sections without any writing, for weeks at a time, sometimes months, I’m happy that a year has past and I’m now able to look back & reflect on what moments and thoughts I captured.
[pauses to read entry from January 1, 2013]
This past year wasn’t the easiest but it wasn’t the hardest either. I made it to the end, financially, and have become more aware of myself, mentally.
While I know I most likely have alienated people along the way for some of my choices it was bound to happen. The things I was doing, to support others, wasn’t returning the value and thus I had to re-evaluate things.
While I tried to focus my energy and time to develop as a person I don’t believe I was successful as I should have been. Losing interest in the work I was doing with London Fuse and giving up on London as a whole certainly impacted the remainder of the year. It’s difficult to put yourself ‘out there’ by doing projects or looking for work when you’ve given up.
The plan to move this year scares the crap out of me. The unknown, the cost and the process are all things on my mind. These are all portions of new experiences, so I guess they are to be expected.
Wherever we end up should be ‘better’ than here, for many reasons. Then again, we’ll be giving up and leaving behind many great and valuable thing. Life is about tradeoffs. Don’t I know.
The West Coast seems most likely but I don’t know if it the most promising. We’ll have to wait and see.
I wanted to write more last year. While I didn’t write as much as I may have wanted to, or the types of things I would have like to, I did write more, primarily in this journal.
In the coming year I’m going to try and write more in Day One on the computer and use as a personal journal in addition to something more traditional. I want to write for myself first, and then if I believe it is valuable to share it I will.
While what began as a positive collection of observations on cities, my [this city] series, so I began to call it, never panned out how I wanted. With that said, I’m going to continue to make such observations and if appropriate in the future collect some of the writings together in one place.
Photography has been a tricky thing for me. I’m not sure entirely what role it plays in my life. Not consistent by any means. Photos from me come in spurts. When on trips, here and there, I don’t have the motivation to pick up a camera on a daily basis or to explore with it like I once use to. I’d like to take more photos this year but with what intentions I’m not sure. More complete series, more themes and more regular. I think these are good enough goals that are attainable.
I’d like to print out more photos, be more organized, and finally set on a way to display my photos that makes sense. A way to share them that I can be proud of.
I read today that someone revolves to not change and to simply be themselves because all things considered they are happy. Part of me likes that and would be OK with that too.